I pledge allegence to the flag of the United States of America

well i went to jen's party, it was great! then then the next morn'n my mom called and said landon(my cousin) was getting baptized! so a cupple hours later she picked me up and we went to roswell to see him get baptized. so we're there and i see donovan and everything....his bro....and...i dunno how to start....well lets just start by saying, when we were little kids(he's 11 months younger than me) we did everything together, we played tarzan and spiderman and soldiers and everything....it was so much fun....and it was like that all the way up UNTIL he hit 6th....he started being a bit rude...not too bad but just a little. i blew it off, ya kno, puberty....the problem was like...around his friends he would kinda show off and be rude to me and stuff....and his friends were always mine...we would have great times when i would go to roswell and when we'd see eachother at church camp and stuff, it was me, donovan, scott, matt, anna and tyler. it was great....but...he started changing...like he started being harder to talk to, before we'd always talk, about his problems about mine and about everything.....but he'd kinda shut me out sort of...i mean there would be times like as if nothing had changed but...then when hewas in 7th...it got worse...he became rough and more rude....and his image and attitude started changing...he started cussing and well matt got a brain tumor and at one point, scott just need friends(he is matts bro) and the church kids took him to eat and movies and all and my aunt alicia(donovan's mom) called me cuse i was his friend too and invited me. but when i got there, donovan and scott just kinda walked off....and tyler said when donovan saw me he said 'what is she doing here? she wasn't invited.'. well that hurt ALOT. then it got worse and worse then at my birthday party in 8th he was rude to me and didn't talk to me and just kinda showed off....and now he's completely different. he's rough...and cold...we barely talk....we used to call eachother and write eachother (snail mail) and...we would always hug eachother when we'd see eachother and when he knew i'd be coming to roswell he'd always ask grandmother 'when's randee gonna get here???' and when i moved here i was so excited to be more near donovan cuse i used to be 4 hours away and we only got to see eachother on holidays and sumtimes in the summer...but now when its was christmas he just....didn't talk to me...or when he did he was cold...ya kno? like not friendly and close...and it hurts...its almost like 8th grade when the friend thing hit... i love him so much and he's so important to me and i feel like i dont matter to him at all and he doesn't even care that i'm around...i get so excited when i get a chance to see him but when i get there he doesn't even say hi, he just talks to sum one else...and maybe we'll talk a little bit but its the convo like when u see ur ex after a long time and yall just barely say n e thing...at landon's baptism...landon ran up and gave me a hug and said 'hi! i didn't kno u were coming!' and gave me another hug...but when donovan came in the room i waved to him with a big smile and he just smiled alittle and sat away by himself......i love him sooo much...he's like my brother....like i was always sooo disapointed that i didn't have a sibling to have memories with and when we would be grown and have kids...still act silly and have a bond and be close...and then i realized i had donovan and we had great times and when we would be older we'd have that bond like siblings....but now, the way it looks....he'll be one of those relatives that 'll send a card only at christmas from the other side of the courntry, and the card will say-merry christmas-- it hurts so much...i wish he knew